I missed weeks 17 and 18 due to a personal tragedy. My grandmother passed away midweek the week of April 23rd. I'm still grappling with the loss of an amazing, kind, and creative woman that was an immense driving force in who I am today. It was unexpected and I only hope she knows how much I love her and how important she is to me.
It's definitely made me reevaluate how I interact with people I care about- I've been such a hermit over the last couple of years and I realize I have to reach out and stop hiding, even if it is my studio I take to when I feel like I need to check out from the world at large.
It's also made me aware that I should tell people what's going on with me so they don't think I am just avoiding them. We have to remove the stigma from mental illness- that's the only way we can heal as a society and as individuals.
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for most of my adult life- in the last two/three years, it's gone up a few notches. I used to love big groups, concerts, festivals- now they send me into a panic attack. Small groups and one-on-ones have their own issues, and sometimes I just have to say it's ok to hide. Nanny would NOT have wanted me to live my life like this. I don't want to live my life like this. So, if you feel like I've avoided you or acted oddly around you, please don't think it's your fault.
Making things has been my life-line to staying involved with people. Teaching allows me to be kind of someone else. I become Teacher Brandy, and somehow I can deal better with all the scummy-brain stuff that keeps me awake all night, and I have confidence that slips away from me normally.
I've been fortunate enough to have a wonderful group of friends (and family) that come to my classes and ask me to make special custom pieces for them. You guys have helped me more than you know.
This week's ring is not quite finished, but it is a custom piece for a wonderful lady that has been an amazing supporter of my work and I absolutely *love* making pieces for her- I know she falls in love with the stones just like I do. :) Labradorite supplied by her- silver by me. :) The back will have a cut out of a star after we do the sizing.